Off with Her Hits: My Top 35 (+65) Songs of 2024
My first year-end songs list since 2018.
Well, 2024 sure was a great year for popular music! It was a good time to get back into new music after a five-year break, what with Chappell Roan and Sabrina Carpenter kicking the door in and forcing their ways into the A-list the old-fashioned way, the way of legends like Madonna, Janet, Britney, the Black Eyed Peas, Soulja Boy, Fannypack (wait): by making indelible pop songs. Then there were the artists you (hopefully) already knew were great: Kendrick, Charli, Billie, Beyoncé, NLE Choppa, Rebecca Black (wait). There’s a lot to get to, so let’s get to it.
You can find a playlist with my full top 100 songs at the bottom of the page.
35. Zach Bryan: “Pink Skies” [Belting Bronco/Warner]
For sure the apex of Bryan’s songwriting, but to be honest, the way he sings the word yuppies is like 80% of the reason this is as high as it is.
34. Nilüfer Yanya: “Like I Say (I Runaway)” [Ninja Tune]
I was such a big fan of Yanya in 2018 that I voted for both “Baby Luv” and “Golden Cage” in the Pazz & Jop and Uproxx critics polls (the only time I ever voted for two songs from an artist in the same year). Her work since has mostly underwhelmed me, but every album she puts out seems to feature one sole track that reminds me why I loved those early singles. This one is pretty terrific, and distinctly Nilüfer Yanya—managing to be urgent and breezy at the same time due to elaborate choices in instrumentation and mixing.
33. Macklemore: “Hind’s Hall” [Bendo]
It’s funny to say that a song is of its time when that time is eight months ago, but “The blood is on your hands, Biden, we can see it all/And fuck no, I'm not votin’ for you in the Fall” aged like milk fast, right down to the self-congratulatory “woo!” that follows it. (Imagine a Vietnam protest song released in February, 1968 being like, “Lyndon Johnson, I will never vote for you! Can I get an amen?!”) Other than that, this is a miracle. In a year where almost everybody with a platform seemed afraid of speaking out about Palestine—scared of being labelled antisemitic for being opposed to a right-wing superpower, assisted by several other First World nations with funding and support, killing 11,000 children in 12 months—why was it Macklemore, of all people, who did it? For the same reason he was the one who spoke out about gay marriage and homophobia in hip-hop in 2012—his unabashed sincerity and willingness to do a blunt message song. He doesn’t care if he comes off as corny when the stakes are high and the lives of the marginalized are on the line. So while you can argue with the results—as art, as entertainment, as activism—I’m just glad we got a song this year with lyrics like: “We see the lies in ‘em/Claimin’ it’s antisemitic to be anti-Zionist/I’ve seen Jewish brothers and sisters out there and ridin’ in/Solidarity and screamin’ ‘Free Palestine’ with them/Organizin’, unlearnin’, and finally cuttin’ ties with/A state that’s gotta rely on an apartheid system/To uphold an occupyin’ violent history been repeating for the last 75.” Even if it’s from the “Thrift Shop” guy.
32. STAYC: “GPT” [High Up Entertainment]
Yeah! Fuck A.I.!
31. Obscurist Vinyl/The Sticky Sweethearts: “I Glued My Balls to My Butthole Again” [Hallwood Distribution]
Whoops.
Look, there’s an exception to every rule, so let’s just say this is the artistic peak of A.I. We can throw Silicon Valley in the fucking dumpster now, they’re done.
30. FEX: “Subways of Your Mind” [no label ‘84]
29. Christopher and Philip Booth: “Ulterior Motives (original version)” [no label ‘86]
Lostwave is an Internet phenomenon in which mysterious recordings of songs with no known artist or title send web sleuths into searches that can go on for years, sometimes decades. In an era where you can find practically any song you hear with an app, the appeal of these lost songs—hearable, but not nameable—goes without saying. The second most popular lostwave song, an ‘80s mall pop jam dubbed “Everyone Knows That (Ulterior Motives),” was discovered earlier this year in the most unexpected of places: a porno from 1986 called Angels of Passion. Seven months later, the opus of the genre, dubbed “Like the Wind” or “The Most Mysterious Song on the Internet,” was also found, in a more obvious place: a demo tape from an obscure German new wave band. Would these songs make a list of my favorite songs were they not shrouded in mystery for years? Maybe not. But I’m glad they exist, along with their contexts, and even with the mysteries fully solved, I still listen to them for pleasure regularly.
28. Porter Robinson: “Cheerleader” [Mom + Pop]
To my chagrin, his greatest song isn’t the one that ends with “Don’t kill yourself, idiot,” a message we all need in this difficult time. But I’m not gonna argue with the prettiest synths of the year.
27. Tyler, the Creator (ft. GloRilla, Sexyy Red and Lil Wayne): “Sticky” [Columbia]
Hey kids! Gender is fun!
26. Jane Remover: “Magic I Want U” [deadAir]
After an astonishingly productive five years, beginning when she was just 16 years old, the hardest working queer in show business didn’t release any new albums this year. But she did put out a bunch of DJ sets, remixes, and a handful of singles, including this absolute firecracker that answers the question: what might Mk.gee sound like if he was good?
25. NewJeans: “Supernatural” [ADOR]
Please, everyone, keep trying to bring back new jack swing. Even if it never takes hold, we’ll at least keep getting songs like this.
24. Sorry Mom: “But I’m a Quarterback” [Hopeless]
What would a year be without at least one sapphic power pop classic? And man, “You make me wish that I was dead/You’re just like being seventeen again” is one hell of a hook, almost on the level of “Saw you at daybreak/In love by morning/You’re still my sugar” and “Tell me that you love me/Make it easy” in the lesbian crush song canon.
23. Chappell Roan: “Good Luck, Babe!” [Amusement/Island]
Sadly, this never revealed itself to me as the song of the year the way it did for everyone else, despite how happy I am that we have a top 5 hit based around comphet as a sort of Matrix-esque program of conformity, blinding people with the illusion of normalcy as they slowly suffocate (oh yeah, there was a movie like that this year too, wasn’t there?). I especially love that there’s no real sympathy for the other woman, beyond subtext unavoidable for anyone familiar with the distinctive pain of the closet. In fact, the brokenhearted and disillusioned Roan seems righteously gleeful in her push-off—hope you enjoy waking up one day and realizing you should’ve taken the gay pill, bitch, I’m gonna go stick my tongue down a girl’s throat. Still, the record itself never came alive for me the way “Pink Pony Club” did (though I had to eventually admit it was better than “HOT TO GO!” and “After Midnight”). Its production is a little too refined—city pop-ish, even—for the inherent sloppy-drunk “and let me tell you what else!” vibe of the lyric. (Dev Lemons’ hilarious volume-off recreation revealed to me how much the song proper might be better served by a more chaotic production.) But in spite of my qualms, I’m jazzed it’s the consensus SOTY pick (other than, maybe, “Not Like Us”), the same way I’m jazzed that Brat was the consensus AOTY. The world outside is getting more and more hostile towards my community, but pop music is only getting gayer, and I hope that can help get me through the storm.
22. Kendrick Lamar: “squabble up” [PGLang/Interscope]
Sampling Debbie Deb in 2024 might not guarantee you a masterpiece on the level of “When I Hear Music,” but it’ll be one of my favorite songs of the year anyway.
21. Ekko Astral: “head empty blues” [Topshelf]
It’s okay to be terminally online if you’re funny about it. I’m guessing the only reason this wasn’t called “no thoughts blues” is because Jack White called dibs.
20. REI AMI: “body bag” [self-released ‘23]
Post-Mortem Grips.
19. Charli XCX (ft. Billie Eilish): “Guess (Remix)” [Atlantic]
Hey, watch your mouth! It’s not “queerbaiting,” it’s house music, you silly goose.
18. GloRilla, Megan Thee Stallion & Cardi B: “Wanna Be (Remix)” [Collective/Interscope]
I recognize the irony of my hatred of the MCU’s cynical money-printing IP crossovers, considering putting a few women rappers I like on a track together will always get me embarrassingly excited.
17. Adrianne Lenker: “Sadness As a Gift” [4AD]
Important gay speed-dating question: “At what point on the new Adrianne Lenker album did the waterworks really start?” For me, it’s after the gorgeous and melancholic violin solo, when things get unbearably quiet and she softly sings, like she’s singing any old lyrics: “You and I could see into the same eternity/Every second brimming with a majesty/Oh, kiss so sweet, so fine/You could hear the music inside my mind/And you showed me a place I’ll find/Even when I’m old.” That did it. I was toast.
16. Billie Eilish: “Lunch” [Darkroom/Interscope]
A woman who experienced garbage men counting down to her 18th birthday years ago finds the perfect formula for an overwhelmingly sapphic hit song (and music video) that’s only of use to sapphics.
15. Monaleo (ft. Sauce Walka): “Ee-er” [stomp down]
As if “Pussy squeaky like ee-er” wasn’t good enough, we also get “I be twitching when I nut, oh my god, am I a streamer?” A dirty rap classic, hidden away in the middle of an EP hardly anyone seems to have heard. Tsk tsk.
14. Rebecca Black: “Sugar Water Cyanide” [self-released]
Blessed are the cringe teenage girls, for they shall grow up to make great hyperpop.
13. Jordan Adetunji and Kehlani: “Kehlani (Remix)” [300]
The best song named after a pop diva since Katy B’s “Aaliyah” (I mean, what else is there? “Doja?” lmao). Getting the titular singer to do a remix (and improve the track significantly) was a major gift, for both Adetunji and the listening public.
12. Tommy Richman: “Million Dollar Baby” [ISO Supremacy/Pulse/Concord/Universal]
When you have the falsetto of the year, the rest is meaningless. How’s the production here? Well, his vocals are audible, so that’s good enough for me! How about the song? Beats me. I don’t know if I’ve even noticed the song yet. Ask me in a year or two.
11. NLE Choppa & Whethan (ft. Carey Washington): “Slut Me Out 3” [NLE Choppa/Warner]
Turns out that Terrifier 3 wasn’t the only Pt. 3 this year to finally find the correct mix of absurdist comedy and transgressive tastelessness (and to realize the importance of a compelling woman).
10. Beyoncé: “Texas Hold ‘Em” [Parkwood/Columbia]
Stick around-round-round-round-round.
9. Maria Beraldo: “I Can’t Stand My Father Anymore” [Risco]
It’s about time someone made Flipper’s “Ha Ha Ha” for lesbians.
8. Le Sserafim: “Crazy” [Source/YG Plus/Geffen]
I’m not afraid of being biased. On the contrary, I embrace my biases. I reject objectivity as fervently as I reject the fascists trying to make it the law of the land, with themselves appointed the ultimate deciders of quality, morality, and worth. I simply am the person I am. And sometimes that person hears a hook like “All the girls like girling girling/All the girly girls” and thinks, That’s so true! This is my eighth favorite song of the year now. This is me. Take it or leave it. (I also love how the word Pikachu will hit any listener who doesn’t speak Korean like, er, a bolt of electricity or something.)
7. Sabrina Carpenter: “Please Please Please” [Island]
Proof that writing a please don’t be a piece of shit song about a dude is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
6. JADE: “Angel of My Dreams” [RCA]
For decades, fame is not what I bargained for songs (think “Lucky,” “The Lucky One,” er “Marshall Mathers,” etc.) were mournful ballads. In 2024, they’re genre-hopping-energizer-bunny-assault-vehicles. Simultaneously sad, ruthless, and reasonably infuriated over industry mistreatment. It is my professional opinion that Simon Cowell should ***.
5. Caroline Polachek: “Starburned and Unkissed” [A24]
A song of pure transcendence, from a film about how transcendence is essential for our survival. Glad we’re acknowledging how important “Fade Into You” has been for several generations of sapphics.
4. Kendrick Lamar: “Not Like Us” [Interscope]
Kendrick had Drake on the ropes with the cruel, borderline-unfair (although who cares ‘cause fuck him) “Meet the Grahams,” and then HERE COMES MUSTARD WITH THE STEEL CHAIR. It’s not that Drake keeps losing rap beefs—it’s that he keeps losing rap beefs in humiliatingly revealing ways with some of the greatest rap songs of all time. Here, he becomes emblematic of everything wrong with an industry that appropriates Black American culture, churns out mediocre slop, and doesn’t give a shit if the artists it’s promoting are scumbags. If I was him, I’d never show my face in public again.
3. Allie X: “Off with Her Tits” [Twin Music/AWAL]
On one hand, a very funny song—the way she sings “Bitch, are you joking?/I wish I had that rack!!!” might be my favorite vocal delivery of the year. On the other, I’m just so exhausted by the withholding of choice over our own bodies we have to navigate. This isn’t a trans song (at least not explicitly), but it’s perhaps more important: a text that understands that the stripping of bodily autonomy from trans people spells doom for everyone. They’re not stopping with us. It’s time people start noticing.
2. Ruby Bell: “Internet bf” [Dog Show]
Out on the road today, I saw a Hannah Diamond sticker on a Vengabus.
1. Chappell Roan: “Pink Pony Club” [Amusement/Island ‘20]
Naming a song from 2020 as my Song of the Year? Gawwwwwwd, what have I done?!